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Breast Cancer – My Journey
Finding Out
Last summer I felt a lump in
my breast and it bothered me
but considering I am so
prone to cysts it didn’t
worry me that much.
In May I had received a
video to watch that told
about Inflammatory Breast
Cancer and I had a feeling
of dread watching it as
something said to me, you
are going to get this.
So when I seen my doctor
following the finding the
lump I told him about it. He
decided that I should have a
physical considering I
haven’t had one in awhile. I
see him regularly with
regards to my reflex pain
syndrome in my ankle and
have had regular tests
performed. In fact I had my
mammogram on time less then
two years ago. This visit
was in late August.
The doctor did not check me
that day but he had me make
an appointment for a
physical. I requested the
mammogram as soon as I could
so he filled out the form.
In hindsight I would have
asked him to check my breast
and I am sure he would have
got my mammogram done
sooner. I called to make my
appointment and the earliest
I got was October 2nd.
The day finally arrived and
I had a great feeling of
dread as I just knew this
was serious. I told the
technician I had a lump in
my left breast and it felt
strange. She checked it and
made sure she did very
extensive pictures there.
Like usual she went away to
check and see if they
required more. When she came
back she told me the doctor
requests further and she did
them and left me again. Of
course I knew but I wasn’t
panicking as I think I had
sort of prepared myself for
this.
The doctor came back with
her and explained that there
definitely was something
there that hadn’t been there
before. She explained to me
that what the mammogram does
is shows white spots and
then the ultrasound will
tell more. This wasn’t the
first time I had to go to
ultrasound and the last time
they told me it was okay,
just fatty tissue. This day
I knew it wasn’t going to be
that.
I had to wait for the
ultrasound but I told her I
wait as long as it took,
they were putting me between
regular appointments and the
wait was about 3/4 of an
hour. Had been there before
and the technician started
to check. I realized she was
checking more extensively
and also she didn’t have the
screen on that I could see
as it usually is. She went
for the doctor and then the
bad news came. I was told
that she was positive it was
cancerous and she actually
thought there was another
small one under the first
one. Of course I wanted to
do something right away and
asked her what the procedure
was.
They can take a needle
biopsy and as long as they
get enough that will give
them their answers so I told
her to book me for one as
soon as possible and that I
was seeing my doctor the
next day for my physical.
When I left there I was just
devastated as I knew this
was not going to be good in
any way. I found the tears
falling as I knew I had
another fight on my hands
and this would be the fight
of my life.
The following morning I went
early to my doctor’s
appointment and was taken in
right away. That does not
happen at my doctors office
ever so I knew something was
up. As soon as I seen my
doctors face I knew what he
had to say. He told me that
it was positively cancer and
there was no doubt about it.
He had already discussed it
with the surgeon and they
decided there was no sense
wasting time with a needle
biopsy. I had a very large
tumor and it had to come out
and the biopsy would be done
then. He also felt it was in
my lymph nodes. He actually
said the word inflammatory
but then he didn’t dwell on
it so I wasn’t sure I heard
him right, my hearing is bad
so it could have just been
because I was thinking of
it. Leaving his office that
day I was probably in shock
which was a good thing as I
was able to get myself home
safely. Once I arrived I let
it all out.
All the stories I have heard
of Breast Cancer came to my
mind and I knew this wasn’t
going to be an easy road to
travel. Was I strong enough
to face this?? I have had so
much happen to me since I
broke my ankle on January
30th, 2004 and I felt I just
didn’t have the strength.
I have a large family, a
great special guy, and mega
friends, here and online and
I knew I had to tell them.
Some would hide it but I
never was one to hide and I
sure knew I was going to
need all their strength plus
mine to get through this.
How do you tell the man you
love you have breast cancer?
Boy that was a biggie. He
has been my rock for so long
and now I needed him more
then ever. So I picked up
the phone and called Garry
right away. He is an auto
mechanic with his own
business and not always
there but he sure was this
day. He already knew that I
had the tests the day before
so at least he was somewhat
prepared. As soon as he
heard my voice he said
“okay, don’t worry it will
be all right”. I could hear
the break in his voice. We
had another fight to do
together as I knew he would
be with me every step of the
way. He told me he would be
in later and that I better
start to call my kids and my
siblings.
I left a message for my
sister to call me, and then
called my daughter and son.
It was hard to tell them but
I got it out. There was my
best friend, whom I left
another message and then I
just couldn’t call anyone
else as it was really
getting to me. My friends in
my group had to know as they
are just like family to me
so I sent them a message and
explained what was going on.
That day turned out to be
the worst day. The phone was
ringing, people coming in,
and naturally everyone was
upset. The hard part was my
sister; she came through the
door and just started to cry
and hugged me for dear life.
We have been through so much
together and I don’t think I
could travel this road
without her. She is always
so strong but not this day,
this day she broke too. By
the time Garry got in I was
a mess! When I went to bed
that night my eyes were
swelled right up and just
burning.
The doctor had told me the
surgeon’s office would call
and make an appointment so
the wait began. Dr. Turner,
my family doctor, had told
me there would be surgery,
chemo and radiation and
maybe hormonal therapy after
so he was preparing me. With
our health care now there is
such a wait for everything
and of course the moment you
know you have a cancer
inside you, you want it out.
Finally I got an appointment
with the surgeon which was
October 16th, a week away.
At least I knew I was
getting to another step.
The surgeon is, Dr. Morrell,
and he is well known in our
small town to be a great
surgeon. Some of my family
and friends wanted me to go
right to Ottawa but I
believed he would be the
best and he is.
My daughter, Kathy, went
with me and she was on pins
and needles as I was. We
have been through a lot
together but this was a
biggie and a matter of life
and death. Time to put aside
any past differences and
move on. As my hearing is
very bad I always need
someone with me whenever I
go to any appointments. It
is also great as the support
is sure needed too. I
wouldn’t be getting through
some of this without my
support system which is
enormous. I had heard that
Dr. Morrell wasn’t the best
in bedside manner but then
he was a surgeon and that
was the important thing.
When I met him for the first
time, I knew right away, I
trust this man and I liked
him. Kathy did too which was
great. He examined me very
thoroughly and told me that
he felt the lump was very
large and that the lymph
nodes were affected also and
we need to get the surgery
done and after there would
be chemo, and radiation. No
word of Inflammatory so I
was beginning to think I was
wrong. After all he examined
me, if it was he would know
it. The date was set for the
surgery, October 24th. Not
really bad considering I had
the mammogram on the 2nd.
The day of the surgery
arrived and I was prepared.
All my friends were praying
for me and sending healing
prayers, etc. I knew all my
angels were in place to help
me through this, after all I
believe in angels.
I sure had a lot of escorts
to the hospital for this day
surgery. Most people go with
one person, not me; everyone
wants to be there for me. My
daughter and son picked me
up and when we arrived, one
of my cousin’s sons appeared
also, to support me. Hadn’t
seen Keith in some time but
he was there and I will
always remember that. His
mom and I were always close
growing up, she was older
and got stuck looking after
me but she is a friend as
well as my cousin. My sister
was having her mammogram and
she appeared to hold my hand
too. Of course I knew she
would as she has never let
me down.
They prepared me for
surgery, told me it would be
about 45 minutes, that I
would have a drain when I
woke up and then I waited.
Once into the surgery they
put me out and the next
thing I woke up and when I
looked at the clock I knew
something was wrong. I was
only out 10 minutes. The
nurse came and told me the
doctor would be in to see
me. I looked down and
everything looked the same
so I felt nothing was done.
Many thoughts went through
my head. Then Dr. Morrell
came in and he told me that
just as he was preparing to
start he noticed the redness
of my breast, I had only
seen that appear that
morning as I was getting
ready. Then he told me the
dreaded news I always felt I
would hear that I have
Inflammatory Breast Cancer.
It is like hearing a death
sentence and it sure knocked
me down quick. You know I
told you I believe in
angels, while my mom, my
main angel, made sure that
morning that the redness
showed up. If the surgeon
had cut in to remove the
tumor my survival rate would
have dropped. Dr. Morrell
informed me the survival
rate in IBC is so much
better now as they learned
that chemo first to shrink
the tumor, then breast
removal, followed by
radiation is the best route
to go. When I told him I had
worried about IBC but that
when he examined me I felt
it was okay, he said this
was not showing up 8 days
ago. So he told me to call
his office for an
appointment and we would go
from there.
Inflammatory Breast Cancer
is a very fast moving cancer
and it is not always found
with a lump. In fact by the
time it is found it usually
is in stage 3. Just not
detectable with a normal
mammogram. I will give you
the urls to check out about
IBC as I feel every woman
and some men should know
about this. We can beat it,
treated the right way.
My family was in shock. They
thought they would be
bringing home a mom that
just had a lump removed and
some lymph nodes, but now
they had to face a much
longer journey and a harder
one.
My son, Don, went right out
and bought me the loveliest
daisies. He told me that was
to show I was on the right
side of the soil. This news
has really affected my kids
badly. They are both grown
adults, 44 and 43 but they
are my babies.
We had many hard days
dealing with this but we
knew we would do the fight.
What alternative did I have?
None but fight again.
Sometimes I think the broken
ankle was just to build my
strength for this fight.
With the help of God, my
family and friends, and
especially my guy, I know
one day I will be cancer
free. Just have to take the
steps one moment at a time.
The girl and the stamp came
from
Devotional Doodles
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